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Notes of a Military Son
During this week -- Military Families Week -- I am reminded of the valuable lessons I learned from my father about the humanity and importance of those who defend our freedom.
My Dad, Clifford Alexander, is a "first" in many ways, born in 1933, an only son of two civic-minded parents who were deeply immersed in their community, Harlem. His parents were both bright, and while neither had college degrees they knew that education was the road to their son's life success, and he graduated from Harvard College and Yale Law School -- an incredible success for anyone, much less an African-American of his generation.
He then made a career of leaping over racial barriers and breaking down doors. He served several presidents, and in 1977 President Carter asked Dad to serve in his Administration, as Secretary of the Army.
Dad was responsible for military operations worldwide, wielding civilian powers that were only surpassed by the President himself. His service as Army Secretary immersed him in a world in which there were clear chains of command and protocol, and fixed notions of rank and power.
In my father's eyes, his powers also carried responsibilities and courtesies, and he made it a point to always try to respect the dignity of everyone he encountered. He also deeply valued the ultimate commitment to country that the men and women who serve in our armed forces -- our nation's greatest patriots.
He was at the top of the chain of command, but he never saw himself as superior. It was quite the opposite; he knew that his service was equal to all who served -- one man among thousands in service to country.
Dad made the quality of life of the soldier his top priority. Every time he visited an Army base, he scheduled an hour at the base gym for a pick-up basketball game with the enlisted men and women. He broke it down: Running the court, in shorts, on the floor, there is no rank.
The lessons came all the time -- daily life, leading by example. I recall one weekend morning when he and I walked out the back door of our townhouse to pick up some groceries. As we walked through the alley, a homeless man approached us, and my father greeted him with a hearty "Good morning, sir."
I had seen soldiers and four-star generals offer Dad the same greeting in the halls of The Pentagon, and at Army bases around the world. After we moved along, unprompted, Dad reminded me of something: "He was somebody's baby one day."
Those words with that context remind me of the common humanity that my parents value so much. Their respect for others, and pride in our own identity as African-Americans, informed their -- and eventually my -- sense of self and commitment to service.
My family was immersed in a generation of change defined by public service and social activism. Our life was defined by my parents' work, and by the values inculcated by our day-to-day existence.
So in Military Families Week, I spend a little extra time thinking about those who commit themselves to country, so that we can live in these remarkable times today. Every day, I am thankful for our armed forces, and I pay particular tribute to the individual men and women serving all around the world.
Dad is 77 years old, and just as committed as ever. In the past few years, he carried on his own mission to speak out against the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy that was a blight on our nation. He articulated the fight as one over the basic human dignity of those who serve our nation with pride and distinction.
He won't be still, he won't be silent. I honor the individuals who wear The Uniform, as he taught me.
My Dad, Clifford Alexander, is a "first" in many ways, born in 1933, an only son of two civic-minded parents who were deeply immersed in their community, Harlem. His parents were both bright, and while neither had college degrees they knew that education was the road to their son's life success, and he graduated from Harvard College and Yale Law School -- an incredible success for anyone, much less an African-American of his generation.
He then made a career of leaping over racial barriers and breaking down doors. He served several presidents, and in 1977 President Carter asked Dad to serve in his Administration, as Secretary of the Army.
Dad was responsible for military operations worldwide, wielding civilian powers that were only surpassed by the President himself. His service as Army Secretary immersed him in a world in which there were clear chains of command and protocol, and fixed notions of rank and power.
In my father's eyes, his powers also carried responsibilities and courtesies, and he made it a point to always try to respect the dignity of everyone he encountered. He also deeply valued the ultimate commitment to country that the men and women who serve in our armed forces -- our nation's greatest patriots.
He was at the top of the chain of command, but he never saw himself as superior. It was quite the opposite; he knew that his service was equal to all who served -- one man among thousands in service to country.
Dad made the quality of life of the soldier his top priority. Every time he visited an Army base, he scheduled an hour at the base gym for a pick-up basketball game with the enlisted men and women. He broke it down: Running the court, in shorts, on the floor, there is no rank.
The lessons came all the time -- daily life, leading by example. I recall one weekend morning when he and I walked out the back door of our townhouse to pick up some groceries. As we walked through the alley, a homeless man approached us, and my father greeted him with a hearty "Good morning, sir."
I had seen soldiers and four-star generals offer Dad the same greeting in the halls of The Pentagon, and at Army bases around the world. After we moved along, unprompted, Dad reminded me of something: "He was somebody's baby one day."
Those words with that context remind me of the common humanity that my parents value so much. Their respect for others, and pride in our own identity as African-Americans, informed their -- and eventually my -- sense of self and commitment to service.
My family was immersed in a generation of change defined by public service and social activism. Our life was defined by my parents' work, and by the values inculcated by our day-to-day existence.
So in Military Families Week, I spend a little extra time thinking about those who commit themselves to country, so that we can live in these remarkable times today. Every day, I am thankful for our armed forces, and I pay particular tribute to the individual men and women serving all around the world.
Dad is 77 years old, and just as committed as ever. In the past few years, he carried on his own mission to speak out against the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy that was a blight on our nation. He articulated the fight as one over the basic human dignity of those who serve our nation with pride and distinction.
He won't be still, he won't be silent. I honor the individuals who wear The Uniform, as he taught me.
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Comments: (24)
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By: TK on 4/14/2011 9:59AM
As a vet and I worked in VA your father was the generation I really enjoyed. They didn't come through the door with "Da man owes me something" attitudes and mistreated us. Your dad's generation wanted no "govment" hand outs and only had to come to VA when retiree benefits were slashed @civilian companies. I left VA because I was stressed and getting cursed out "every" morning before 8am wore me down!!!
I refused to let my daughs even consider the military because I saw exactly why my mother didn't want me to serve. The military doesn't prepare these kids for REAl life. It is a welfare system. That's why they come through the doors of the VA ANGRY. I noticed most were Army???? The turn over rate is high in the military because these kids see the commercials are just that..commercials!!!
Tell your dad thank you for his service and considering he was at the Pentagon I might have served him (at a VA) and enjoyed a laugh because his generation is flirty! hahahaha
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By: CPT Thompson on 4/14/2011 1:14PM
TK your comments are absurd. As a retired Army officer and a former VA employee, I have a problem with you characterizing any veteran's service as seeking a hand-out. The VA was organized to assist veterans and to compensate them for injuries or illnesses that occurred on active duty, or aggravated during their service to our nation.
Applying for VA benefits or seeking assistance at a VA hospital or clinic is in NO WAY "looking for a government hand-out, or believing da-man owes me something." You sound utterly ridiculous, and it's obvious that you have never had to walk a mile in a soldier's boots, or deploy to far corners of the world under hostile, life-threatening conditions, or to leave your spouse and children for extended periods of time, while living off a salary that is practically below the minimum wage.
No wonder you were getting cursed out every morning on the job. No doubt, you deserved it. They cursed you out because you had no respect for the population you were serving, and you had forgotten that the reason you had a job there in the first place was because of that very population.
The military is no welfare system. Every soldier, sailor, airman, and marine WORKS for their money, and they work more than 40 hours a week and under conditions that no civilian has to endure. Welfare is probably what you are sitting back drawing right now because you are too "stressed" to work. Looking for a hand-out, maybe? Getting yourself a little "crazy" check, huh? Yeah, that's welfare!
You responded to a very heart-warming and inspirational article with nonsense and tomfoolery, based upon your own shortcomings and imperfections. Those who can honorably serve this country, do. Those who can't...simply complain.
Hats off to Mark Alexander for penning such a wonderful article. Your father was a rare breed, and many young soldiers today are benefitting from his contributions and his example.
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By: TK on 4/14/2011 2:29PM
@Capt-Your words don't hurt me because I was just talking to some former coworkers a few mins ago and we all agree. You had one experience. I had another!!!!! But nice try taking cheap shots at me......VA offices are constantly in the news and have a VERY HIGH turn over for a reason!!!!!
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By: sportunion on 4/18/2011 7:50AM
:)
Soldier's are there because they signed a blank check up to and including their life. And what did you sign? Your VA check every month. SGM Retired...
:)
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By: firstnotions on 4/18/2011 10:06AM
As a veteran, I do have an expectation of "entitlement" as you did with your employment benefits. I worked for my benefits, sacrificing family, career, etc. for my country. Why shouldn't one expect quality in customer care from the Veteran's Administration or any other organization serving people? If and when I visit any business (just as you), I would expect a smile and an eagerness to help me. I don't expect anyone to treat me with dissidence. I don't think that you would either. Having said this, the military has changed dramatically. Our whole country has changed. People have become rude and uncompromising. It'll all one way or NO way. The beauty about the military (in my time) is that we could disagree on how to accomplish the mission. We shared our philosophies and exchanged our thoughts and developed a strategy to meet the overall objective. At the end of day, I am a believer that we will all stand accountable before God for our earthly behaviors. Thank you General Alexander and to all those veterans and families who have sacrificed their lives for this country. I pray that those working in the VA can "accommodate" us by giving a smile and projecting a willingness to help rather than beat down. We want to beleive that when we enter the VA that we will come out alive and not dead...because someone didn't care. Be blessed my brother. God loves you and so do I!
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By: Computer Geek on 4/14/2011 12:15PM
I know exactly what you mean - it is if our parents were brothers (mine was white while yours was black). He valued everyone as an equal. Prejudice was not an option. No matter who a person is, they are just as valuable as the next. I was never allowed to think of myself as anything but extremely lucky to have a home to live in, three meals a day, education and a secure way to get medical care. Even though I'm not religious, I know for a fact that we were both blessed.
We were Air Force. Even though we were in officers quarters (he retired as a Colonel), every other kid and their folks no matter the rank of their parent was welcomed and I was likewise in their homes as well. To grow up not experiencing the extra strife associated with that racial crap was unique. As an adult I was introduced to the rest of the world and I have done what I can, whenever I can to let people know that people are people, no matter what they look like, no matter how much money they make, no matter what education they might have. I drove school integration routes in Omaha in the mid-70s while I was going to college. It is very difficult for people to understand where you are coming from when you have the kind of background that we both have and I think it's because they can't imagine what it's like to not grow up in a prejudicial environment and so they can't figure us out (if that makes sense).
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By: plstroud on 4/17/2011 2:11PM
ROTFLMAO! Thanks (fannylib) for the tip! Sorry, I'm already spoken for!
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By: TK on 4/14/2011 2:34PM
@Capt-Oh where was your praise when Shoshanna accused the VA of screwing over her disability compensation while giving the white girl preference but I guess Shoshanna didn't serve her country or was in a war in the far corners of the earth? Actually you sound like a PR or brainwashed officer all the enlisted used to joke about!!!!
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By: willard on 4/14/2011 2:39PM
TK; Your writing is way off point, and disgusting to say the least. I've seen your deplorable kind at the VA, and you did the VA good by leaving, your kind is not needed or wanted amongst great American's. Soldier's are there because they signed a blank check up to and including their life. And what did you sign? Your VA check every month. SGM Retired...
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By: TK on 4/14/2011 3:21PM
@Willard-Sadly my VA supervisor (a retired OFFICER herself) tried to get me to stay because I was her best worker (WHEN OTHER VETS WERE LAZY AND DISGUSTING) so again all you "naive" folks don't bother me because I had my experiences and there are plenty of ppl to back me up. Now can the brainwashed stay off these boards and let me hear from "real" vets opins on VA!!!!! Wait I think ABC or CBS just had a boat load of female WAR vets complaining about VA.....oh they're disgusting as well...PULEEZE!!!
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