Now that the holidays are coming up, I always get asked the question, so what do you eat? It's funny how much our diets and eating choices encompass our social activities. I am often surprised that just because I choose not to eat meat and instead consume a mostly raw or living-foods diet, others think my eating experience is limited, especially around the holidays.

So for those who don't eat meat or meat products or who have also chosen to eat a mostly raw foods diet, don't give up just because the holidays are right around the corner. You don't have to fast that day or avoid your family. You have more options than you realize.

I come from one of those African American families where we have about 30 relatives and friends or more over the house and one person, or one woman (usually my mother), slaves over a stove for days preparing a meal for everyone. I never found this to be a gratifying experience, and I'm sure my mother didn't either, but tradition can make us feel guilty at times.

Being the "green sheep" of the family, I'm always offering up new suggestions for how we can spend our holidays. At the same time, I'm always trying to find ways to counter all the pestering I get from my family. Even after years of not consuming meat, my grandmother still asks, "You don't eat fish either?" or "You're not going to have turkey for Thanksgiving?".

Here are some of my suggestions from years of experience:

• Eat before you leave. You can always nourish yourself by making your own dinner and eating it before you leave your house. That way you won't be tempted, and you don't have to be pestered by the all questions about why you are not eating.

• Ask the family to do a potluck this year. Potlucks are great because it takes the pressure off the person fixing the meal for an entire extended family, lends diversity to the holiday meal and it also allows you to include items on the menu that you can eat.

• Go out to eat or take food home. Most vegetarian, vegan or raw-food restaurants offer holidays meals to go. You're supporting restaurants that cater to your food choices as well as honoring your health. When I owned my restaurant, we offered Thanksgiving and Christmas meals for our clients as well as whole pies. Most of my clients used to tell me how they shared the pies with family members who didn't know that it was an organic raw pie.




• Invite the family over to your house and still do potluck. This way they are on your territory and they would probably feel a bit uncomfortable pestering you and asking you a bunch of repetitive questions.

• Have a serious sit-down with the family members who pick on you about what you eat. Explain to them that you make your health your first priority and your diet encompasses most of your healthier choices. Also, offer to educate them if they are interested. Share books, recipes and even go to a class together. This is perfect bonding time for the holidays.

• Do not persuade, cajole, or force anyone you love to eat like you. Only if they ask you about your choices, should you then go ahead and educate them about your experience. They deserve respect as well.

• This is a good one. Make your best vegetarian, vegan or raw-food meal and don't tell anyone that it's vegetarian, vegan or raw. Food is 90 percent psychological. If it's a really good recipe, and you don't tell them its meatless, they probably won't know.

• Leave the labels alone. I've stopped telling people I'm a raw foodist. It has a bad connotation to it, and it limits you. People who eat meat don't label themselves as carnivores, so don't label yourself.

So if you are the "green sheep" of the family and you always find yourself fumbling over how to spend the holidays with your family, then take some tips from me on how to have a extremely grateful and enjoyable holiday with your family and friends over turkey or mock turkey, pumpkin pie, or live-pumpkin pie, mac and cheese or coconut mac and cheese. Enjoy the plethora of options.

To get you started, here are some recipes from my holiday recipe book, 'Nwenna Kai's Holiday Recipes':

Persimmon Nog
3 persimmons, peeled and seeds removed
2 cups almonds, soaked for one hour
3 cups water
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 vanilla bean
1 banana (to add to the thickness)
5 large pitted dates

Blend the almonds, dates, and water until creamy and smooth in a blender. Strain the liquid through a nut-milk bag, cheesecloth or a strainer. Save the pulp for another recipe. Pour the almond milk back into the blender. While blender is running, add the persimmons, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, vanilla bean and banana.

Alive Pumpkin Pie
Pie Crust
2 cups dates, pitted
2 cups almonds
Process dates and almonds in a food processor. Take the sticky dough and press into a pie pan.

Pumpkin pie filling
2 cups fresh pumpkin; seeded, peeled and cubed
1 cup young Thai coconut meat
1/3 cup water from a young coconut
1/2 cup soaked and pitted dates, chopped small by hand
2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 cup walnuts, finely ground
1/2 cup almonds, finely ground
1/2 cup soaked raisins
1/2 vanilla bean, ground (optional)

Puree the pumpkin in a food processor. Add the coconut meat, water, dates pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla bean and mix. Then stir in the ground nuts and pour into your pie crust. Refrigerate for one hour and serve.

Nwenna Kai is the author of 'The Goddess of Raw Foods,' which is available for purchase at www.amazon.com and the FREE e-book 'Nwenna Kai's Holiday Recipes.' You can get the e-book by signing up for her e-newsletter at www.the-guide-to-raw-foods.com. Kai is the previous owner of Taste of the Goddess Cafe, one of L.A.'s pioneering organic raw-food cafes. Visit her website at www.nwennakai.com and her blog at www.theguidetorawfoods.com/blogspot.com.